Why loneliness feels so real, even when it’s not | Kasley Killam

From a young age, we’re taught that being alone means something’s wrong with us 😔 — that the person sitting by themselves is a *loner*. We absorb this belief early, and it shapes how we see others… and ourselves. But here’s the truth: 🔍 **Loneliness isn’t a flaw — it’s a signal.** It’s not *who* you are. It’s *what* you need. 🧭 👋 I’m Kasley Killam, author of *The Art and Science of Connection* and an expert in **social health** — the often-overlooked third pillar of wellness, alongside physical 🏃 and mental health 🧠. --- When we feel lonely: - 🤯 We overthink social situations - 😟 We assume people won’t like us - 🛡️ We enter interactions guarded That mindset creates a loop: 🔁 Negative belief → anxious behavior → shallow connection But it can go the other way too: 💪 Self-trust → openness → meaningful relationships 🤝 --- 🧘‍♀️ **Self-compassion meditation** can help. It’s about redirecting the love you give others — toward *yourself*. That inner safety helps you become more vulnerable, and research shows vulnerability builds **trust and emotional intimacy**. 💞 --- 🌍 Culture also plays a role: - In *individualistic* societies, people feel lonelier 😶‍🌫️, but have more freedom to branch out 🌱 - In *collectivist* cultures, loneliness clashes with expectations — leading to poorer health outcomes ⚠️ And yes, loneliness affects the body: - 🧬 Raises cortisol - 🔥 Increases inflammation - 🛡️ Weakens the immune system --- Want to reconnect? Try this: ✅ Help someone ✅ Volunteer ✅ Show up for others (and yourself) 💗 Your social life literally rewires your brain 🧠⚡ It shapes how you process pain, respond to stress, and experience joy 🎉 --- 💡 **Loneliness is just one sign of poor social health.** Whether you feel it or not — 👉 *everyone* needs connection 👉 *everyone* should prioritize their social well-being And it all starts with the most important connection of all: ✨ The one you have with yourself 💖 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices